


I'm an Anthropologist, Get Me Out of Here

by needles



Series: Bokuaka Detective drabbles [37]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Dialogue-Only, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-13 03:27:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29520153
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/needles/pseuds/needles
Summary: How many scientists does it take to open a door?
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Series: Bokuaka Detective drabbles [37]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2116251
Comments: 2
Kudos: 22





	I'm an Anthropologist, Get Me Out of Here

“Come on Akaashi you know you need to eat; you’ve been working since six this morning you must be starving.”

“I assure you Bokuto san I am in no danger of starving; I have a perfectly adequate granola bar in my desk that I can consume whilst writing up my report on these remains.”

“But Akaashi you need a break, come to the diner, steal my fries?”

“Fries are unhealthy.”

“Never stops you stealing them though.”

“Stop trying to side-track me Bokuto san, and get out of my way, I am going back to my office to do my paperwork.”

“Then I’ll just have to drag you out again.”

“In that case…”

“Akaashi did you just lock that door? Stop grinning Akaashi and let me in. What are you writing?”

_Go and have lunch I’ll see you later when we have some findings to report._

“Oh so it’s notes now is it? Ok then...” _I can’t go to the diner on my own._

_Why not?_

_That waitress will try hitting on me again._

_Chicken!_

_She was scary Akaashi!_

_Take someone else then._

_Who? Daishou?_

_!!!!!_

_Well if you won’t come..._

_Alright Bokuto san I’ll come to the diner._

“Akaashi! Akaashi what’s wrong? Is that the key? You broke the key in the damned lock?”

_I did not break the key._

_Well it wasn’t me. Can you get the rest out?_

_!!!!!_

_Ok. Hang on._

“KONOHA!!!”

“Dude! Where’s the fire?”

“Akaashi is locked in his office.”

“Well don’t look at me man, if you two have a lover’s tiff I’m not getting in the middle of it.”

“We did not have a tiff, for the last time we are just partners, and Akaashi didn’t lock me out of his office.”

_I did!_

“Yes, but he was trying to unlock it again and the key broke in the lock.”

“So what do you need me for?”

“To get it open of course, jeez I thought you were a genius, you’re as bad as Akaashi.”

“Well just shoot the glass out like you did last time.”

“Have you any idea of the amount of paperwork I had to do after that little episode?”

“Hmm. I guess I could blow the lock?”

“No way Jose! Washio would have my guts for garters and you might hurt Akaashi. No explosives.”

“You take all the fun out of things man! How about I isolate the alloy the key is made from and make an acid that will just dissolve the broken metal from the lock?”

“And how long would that take?”

“Umm, about a week I guess.”

“A week. Thanks Konoha, by then Akaashi would be....bones. We need something a little quicker.”

“How about a screwdriver?”

“At last a normal answer, thanks Yukie. I probably shouldn’t ask but why do you have a screwdriver?”

“To repair the Simulator of course.”

“Of course.”

_Ok Akaashi I’m going to remove the door._

_Right._

“Slight problem Yukie.”

“What?”

“All the screws are on Akaashi’s side of the door.”

“Bummer.”

“Ok you two, you never saw this right? This is a black ops technique so your lips are sealed, understand?”

“Sure Dude.”

“Tada!”

“A credit card? You gonna call a locksmith?”

“This is the sine qua non of a detective’s kit.”

“Oh you’re gonna stick it in the crack and flip the catch on the door.”

“How did you know?”

“Dude everybody knows that trick.”

“I didn’t see you pull out your credit card Konoha.”

“I don’t like to flaunt mine it’s black.”

“When you boys have finished comparing the size of your assets Akaashi wants you.”

_Will you two hurry up and get me out of here. I need to pee!!!!_

_Coming Akaashi_

“About time!”

“He wasn’t kidding, was he? I don’t think I’ve ever seen Sensei move quite that fast in the lab.”

“Come on Konoha I need to put this screwdriver away again; can you help me find the right slot?”

“Sure thing Babe.”

“Feeling better Akaashi?”

“Much. Now I believe you owe me lunch?”

“Anything for you Akaashi, anything.”

“Really?”

“Of course.”

“About that gun permit...”


End file.
